I ve just read this poem of yours and I really liked it. I dont want to complement just because I m your friend you know I mean it.Totally I like your style and yur view and thought toward life in poetry. I mean your observation I appreciate and in this very poem you tried to give the whole lines the same rhyme I think you did it well and it and what you did didnt ruin the form.Besides, you cleverly used the colors and I believe by them you paint your piece with your thought and transfer the ideas of fraternity, darkness, paleness, Hope, light, fight and.... the whole poem I think implies that we can take the innocent and fair nature as an ideal example of our own life but by using the simplest way possible. I believe that if you would rich your language in this succesful piece you could count on it as a masterpiece. because as you know one thing that is essential for poetry and mustnt be ignored is the expressing hat you wanna say fortunately you have brilliant thought behind your works and should try to enrich your language and form.