Kelly Kurt

Gold Star - 194,030 Points (1/14/1958 / Cedar Rapids Iowa)

Are Humans The Superior Species (Satire) Long - Poem by Kelly Kurt

Prevailing sentiment among Homo sapiens is that our species has evolved to be the pinnacle of life forms. We are superior, the ultimate outcome and perhaps the end product and purpose of the universe.
I have long held a deep aversion to hyperbole, and the statements above are contributing factors to that fact. Let us start with the obvious. Is Man the fastest, strongest or most agile animal? Not by a long shot. Are we so uniquely adapted to any environment so as to thrive there better than any other creature? Of course not. Genetically and evolutionarily speaking, as physical specimens, we leave much to be desired. Yes, a big hurrah for the opposable thumb, but left to our own in just about any environment, the average human would perish in a matter of weeks, if not days.
So then, it must be our mental faculties that enshrine us as this planet’s gods. Our ability to think and to reason, along with our innate ethical and moral sensibilities set us above all other forms of life and entitle us to complete dominion of nature. Again, I have problems accepting arguments with such lofty verbiage. To be fair, a competitor should be chosen to go up against my species in a one-on-one contest. For fairness sake, I have eliminated the ends of the animal kingdom spectrum, (dolphins, apes, dogs and plankton, tube worms and jellyfish.) and chosen, quite arbitrarily, goats. (It actually doesn’t make any difference.)
In the past 10,000 years, have any goats, herds of goats or any other assemblage of goats ever started a war? Now I mean for any reason; power, territory, resources, greed or just plain malevolence. Have they indiscriminately shot, bombed, poisoned or in any other way killed innocent women and children and destroyed towns, fields or complete countries or cultures?
No?
Goats-1, Humans-0
In the same aforementioned time frame, have our opponents ever deliberately and knowingly and continually destroyed their environment? Have they brought entire species to extinction? Have they ever stripped nonrenewable resources to the point of exhaustion?
No?
Goats-2, Humans-0
Again,10,000 years; goats. Have they ever, at the expense of any or all others, accumulated money or wealth in the form of material objects? Have they surpassed the sublime and exceeded the ridiculous in the amassing of said fortunes? Have their obsessions with wealth cost them their families, health, love or sanity? Do 1% of all goats own 90% of the world’s wealth and resources?
No?
Goats-3, Hmans-0
Have goats ever created a governing system based on equality, freedom and representation of the people, by the people and for the people and honestly believe that is what happens? Do goat politicians get elected to office because they have money, influence and powerful supporters and are among the severely limited field of options that in reality are not truly options in the whole sense of the word? Do; not some or most, but all political goats, from small town aldermen to the Capra (goat genus.) president abuse their power? Do they squabble like five year olds in rival playpen clubs? Do they listen to big business and lobbyists and then act on their behest as opposed to heeding the voice of the majority of their constituency? Does the goat public allow this to be that way, generation after generation?
No?
Goats-4, Humans-0
To be fair, have goats ever explored the solar system? Have they discovered DNA and mapped their genome? Have they written a symphony, built a pyramid or skyscraper, painted a still life or pondered their own existence?
No?
Goats-4, Humans-1 We are on the board!
Have goats ever felt the need to create a religion? Have they ever compiled “sacred” texts with more insane beliefs, rules and hypocritical, antithetical doctrines than you or the population of the land hemisphere could ever shake a stick at? Have goats killed or gone to war in the name of their religion and its God?
No?
Goats-5, Humans-1
Do goats bow to peer pressure? Do they acquiesce to societal norms? Do goats do the same things over and over again and expect different outcomes? Do goats cling tenaciously to the status quo for fear they may be ostracized, or worse still, have to think for themselves? Is a goats main reasoning when asked, why they do X or think Y or want Z, “Because that’s how it’s always been.” Or “I dunno.”? Do goats believe everything they hear or read without question?
No?
Goats-6, Humans-1
Have goats ever created so many ridiculous, ill worded, manipulative, sometimes self-serving laws that to print them out on paper would devastate entire forests? Do goat systems of law serve more the need to create lawyers than to fairly and safely regulate civilized, modern society? Does the goat justice system consist of overpaid, second-rate thespians, far less concerned with truth and equity than with reputation and pay?
No?
Goats-7, Humans-1
In this, the 21st century, do goats still not only allow, but glorify sports and their participants that encourage violence and physical trauma? Do goats arrest and jail someone if they so much as slap somebody, but cheer when a hockey fight breaks out and someone loses his teeth….or consciousness? Do goats, armed with the latest medical evidence, statistics and anecdotal tales of horror and sadness still allow boxing, football and other violent, injurious sports to take place so ubiquitously even with athletes as young as five years old?
No?
Gots-8, Humans-1
Do goats hold any prejudices against color, nationality, sexual preference, gender, socio-economic status or age?
No?
Goats-9, Humans-1
I’m still kind of rooting for humans but have goats ever divided up the planet into over 200 separate, self-contained countries; the inhabitants of which routinely and rhetorically use patriotism and hubris to defend any internal problems or external aggression, and historically fracture relationships, families and entire continents?
No?
Goats 10, Humans-1
Do goats give a rat’s ass about the Kardashians, rap “stars” or Hollywood gossip?
No?
Goats-11, Humans-1
By virtue of the slaughter rule, I must now declare, not a winner, but a loser. As not only a member of the human species (not race) but as a father to six other members of this set, I am saddened. I can imagine no foreseeable time in which we, as a whole, will best goats. This is not an eternal, all inclusive damnation, as there is currently a small percentage of the population that can defeat goats in all categories.
If we don’t destroy ourselves and our world in the next five to ten generations, that percentage will slowly increase until the day comes that goats may well finally have a reason to admire us.

Topic(s) of this poem: compassion, humour, hope, human, human and animal, human condition, human nature, humanity, humor, humorous


Poet's Notes about The Poem

I am not condemning humanity, only highlighting our folly.

Comments about Are Humans The Superior Species (Satire) Long by Kelly Kurt

  • (9/20/2015 7:38:00 AM)


    an arguable writeup nicely written (Report) Reply

    Kelly Kurt Kelly Kurt (9/20/2015 12:40:00 PM)

    Thank you, Oluwatomisin

    1 person liked.
    1 person did not like.
  • Kelly Kurt (3/28/2015 9:35:00 PM)


    I could have gone on for a while in the goat's favor but the slaughter rule kicked in when they were up by ten.: -) We should all have horizontal pupils (metaphorically.) Thank you for your kind words. (And for reading the lengthy ramble.) (Report) Reply

  • Diane Hine (3/28/2015 9:15:00 PM)


    Also they're visionary - horizontal pupils give them a wider perspective, so Goats 12, Humans 1 - Yay! goats win.
    Good poem!
    (Report) Reply

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Poem Submitted: Friday, March 27, 2015

Poem Edited: Monday, April 20, 2015


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