James Vaughn

The Question - Poem by James Vaughn

Alone, scared, I lay in the hollow box prostrated before god. The quiet is oppressive, the air fetid like a dank humid kiss on my cheek. Pain lingers in my soul long past the physical presence of my earthly being.

I asked god if the suffering I endured was self inflicted or is it part of his divine plan for me.

Suffering is not my plan it is your choice my son, he said.

How could this be, I asked, I have helped those that needed it when I could, I have loved and cherished the life I was granted. I lived each day as if it was a new discovery and adverse moments as a challenge, so how was it I chose to suffer.

To be in love without loving yourself is where it began, forsaking yourself for the needs of others is how it ended. Changing yourself to appeal to another for no more reason than to gain favor is a discredit to the person I asked you to be.

But the desire I felt was enormous and I saw no other way to fill this void deep in my soul.

Being true to the love that lives within should be enough for any person, if this is not enough of a demonstration then this love was not meant for you.

The feeling of joy I experienced in the presence of this person consumed my life.

One cannot live life through the eyes of another no more than another can bring inner peace, these are things people must do for themselves.

Entombed in a hollow box, wrapped in dark quiet, I ponder this for eternity.

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Poem Submitted: Friday, December 11, 2009

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