Rookie (15 january)

To Be Awake Is To Be Alive - Poem by IBRAHIM SUMAYYA



Grew in the comfort of my mother's womb
It was the nicest place on earth
The safest place I've ever been
Flying in the face of God
Found solace only in innocence
In the next world
Everything was fake
So different from what I used to know
Throughout the rest of my adult life
My ears had heard of you
But now my eyes have seen you

Deeper into darkness
Everything pulverized
All around in circles that just keep getting smaller
Was tired of the lames and flames in this game
Afraid by this pain, Got down on my knees
Called out to my Lord
Begging him to hear the cry of my heart
Answer my call and carry me through
The lord is near to all who call on Him
But God didn’t talk to me
He was too busy to talk
Avoided me without any reason
I let go of his contact

In the dead of the night
The moment stretched out further than the eyes could see
All of the roads looked same
The mind was confused
Too deeply occupied
We are what our thoughts have made us
Taking care about what dominated my thoughts
I realized I got an itch to scratch
Will never change what I refuse to face
And have a deeper appreciation of the life I was living
Every time I tried to find light
The closer I got
The quicker I lost movement
There's nothing worse than feeling like a ghost
Hard to count on anyone to stand there behind me
Death wanted more from me

Stumbling through the dark with a tired heart
The view fell apart
Enough to get lost in space
I have been running in the wrong direction
I saw my shit everywhere I went
Where have all the goodness gone?
The terrible flames I walked in
Could not wait to see me
In a world so messed up as me
Everything else around me
Could only see the worst in me
I refused to believe I'm “weak and tired”
I will walk till the day I expire
I will hold on for the light till the end of time
I will try to stay till the last day
To be awake is to be alive

There are lots of ways to get what's inside of me out of me
This could be the great escape from what I was
There is a way to get rid of split endings
I decided to take off the mask
And kill off the worst in me
I could see all around me everywhere
There was a world outside
There was something shining through
There were so many things there
I found love that this world had never known
Found the light in me
Light that will shine along the way
Under the skin
The truth was getting clearer
The brightest light barely glows in the dark
Trying to walk away from a life of sorrow
Making everyday struggles everyday strengths
Light will shine brighter when the darkness is deeper
Weighty struggles develop weighty strengths

Somewhere just beyond my reach
The word of the LORD came to me
He reached back for me in full measure
Thanking me softly for playing the game with skillful hands
Purified heart and mind
The only parts functioning
To really know what it takes to make it real big
Bigger than I have ever done it
I laugh so hard that I have tears coming out of my eyes
I must have known I was not a great fool
To be awake is to be alive
I would have counted on that

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, January 1, 2014

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