Diantha Gray

Rookie (10May79 / Philippines)

Phantom Pain (R.P. Part 2) - Poem by Diantha Gray

You had never asked me to stay
In all truth
I didn’t know if I could handle it
Your pride
would never allow the suggestion
outside of a joke
and there was always a joke
Like how my miracle cure for paralysis
would allow you to chase me around
on your peg leg
nothin’ fancy
maybe a wooden one,
like Captain Hook’s

As I’d maneuver your wheelchair
I managed to bump every corner
Your opportunity
for a fake
I’d cringe, you’d laugh

It seems enough time has gone by
harsh realizations set in
cannot heal every broken heart

~ I think back to a particular night~
and every word replays over and again

“Hey Diane, scratch my foot, will ya? ”
‘I did not know it could itch.’
“Wrong foot”
‘Rickie, you’ve only got one foot’
as if I had to remind him
“Doc calls it a ‘phantom pain’
says it’s common when you lose a limb,
I can feel it
Even though it’s not there”

~One Day~

Amidst the confusion of my mind’s war
My presumed fortitude dissolved
into a swirl of greens and blues
Eventually, I was taken over

I disappeared from his life
There’s a part of me
He is my phantom pain
An indescribable hurt
but I can feel it

He’s not there.

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Poem Submitted: Wednesday, August 2, 2006

Poem Edited: Friday, August 20, 2010

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