The Cut That Always Bleeds (V0.2) Poem by Carrot Miller

It seems so easy,
hiding the cuts from the world,
and never letting them know how much it really hurts.

People don't see the pain I hide,
They don't know me,
They won't know me,
Not even at my funereal.

I reach for the knife
and the cut bleeds,
and afterwards I'm numb
I feel liberated,
for a time.

Until I remember how I'm alive
and now I've got to hide them.
It's not better,
the scars are a symbol of how it's worse.

It never stops, it never leaves me alone,
its always there in the dark
Watching, waiting
For when I'm most vulnerable.

The blade glitters through the emptiness
calling my name,
whispering sweet words and lies,
and I can't resist the temptation.
And so goes the cycle of self harm.
My cycle of self harm.

I give up! I give up I yell at last,
as the darkness envelops me once again.
The blade now sitting at my neck,
threatening my life as I regret.

I regret it all the pain the lies,
As I resign to knowing
This was my life.
I close my eyes, thinking peace at last,
But wait..

A light?
My mind returns
As it starts to get bright
I hear the beeping
And a faint faraway voice, I hear someone calling
Light pours in as I open my eyes
I feel myself escaping from this hell-like place
How long has it been?
Since I was stuck in that place,
Trapped with my regrets.

Oh well
None of it matters anymore
I finally feel that freedom long hungered for.
As I get up and look around at my family
I understand what has to happen
How I have to live
And so I do
And will continue to do so.