The Ballad Of The Bachelor Beekeeper - Poem by Willy Munyoki
In a farthest village of Mwingi East
(The surround is hills and a river between;
And roamed by both man and beast)
Lived the bachelor beekeeper—
The strangest man you’ve ever seen,
He became a master women stripper.
His head was bald and had no beard; his face was round with handsome nose
He was chiseled and tall and upright held, and looked with romantic laughing eyes
He softly talked the same way he walked, such as would be a proudest pose
A subtle allure to women, sure, he was a perfect gentleman, guys.
But twice married and thrice divorced, and the toddlers with the moms fled
The bachelor beekeeper thought a little deeper, and a solution to his life he found:
“Now that fate has denied me a mate, I’ll never again a woman wed,
I’ll keep bees on choice trees, and enjoy their sting and humming sound.”
Now, what made him not keep a maid is a question you may want to ask
Well, some say he did freely betray the marriage trail and its demands
Some, his bare was bigger than women could bear, and so it was a painful task,
And he was too tricky and always finicky to keep together the love’s strands.
So instead of wives he bought beehives, using the wealth he’d kept for dowry
And smeared some charm to prevent the harm that may any once convulse the bees
“I forget of wives and let it go, ” he said, “their damn fears are to me a worry.
On choice trees I’ll keep the bees, that way I may happiness seize.”
Then those days seemed to bless his ways, for the bees came in swarms to fill the hives
He had more hives and he said, while he stood watching in hope and mirth,
“These bees have come to give me love, unlike the fretted unromantic wives,
Who will just nag you like a boring flag, and make a man forget his worth.”
The bachelor beekeeper (he became a women stripper) did not ever rue his choice
He found some joy in his employ; and he kept an extra hive and more
He marveled at the bees as they traveled round, making a charming baritone voice
And saw good things that were more than food would his way soon flow.
At the best time to have his harvest, when the bees their work had superbly done
He had it bounty; you’d say plenty, the finest of the nectared type
They’d trained him a baritone feigned, and here’s a fortune won
These two would work his chances too, besides his irresistible build and ripe.
He sold the honey and made some money, and he bought a well pressed tuxedo suit
And put away enough for the day he planned to play his lewd ploy
Bit by bit he wielded his wit, and he did not once say quit
Until he met his rightful bet, a mistress he found cute and coy
For a taste of honey and the lure of money, and also his fine-hot charm
He led her to the bride-left bed, where coy mistress was naked stripped
“There’s no prize without real price, ” he thought, “so I’ll inflict a little harm.”
And in the night when the mood was right, his dreaded bare in her he heaped.
Though none returned once they’d been stunned, he never lacked the next rose
Just like the bees around the trees, he used the voice and nectar drew
His chiseled figure would always trigger a woman to strip before his pose
And one by one only for fun, he lived a bachelor through.
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